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Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Chance To Help Me!!!
"Anonymous," a good and yet unidentified (even to me) friend of mine nominated me in a blog contest, which is pretty freakin' sweet! If you wanna help me out, you can go to the site and vote for me--I promise, I'll love ya for it! :)
Brought to you by: Plus Size Bra
Brought to you by: Plus Size Bra
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Evolution Of A Blog
Oh, the way that things go!
I started this blog just over a year ago, with a "New Year's Resolution" of sorts to write every day. It was supposed to be my means of inspiration, my method of exploring my thoughts, a way to get myself started with all my other writing, my journal. Um, nope. Didn't happen.
Instead, I created a haphazard grouping of thoughts that I added to maybe every day, maybe every week, maybe once a month. Maybe I even skipped a few months at a time. And the topics I covered are quite random. (Notice how I took a mainstay of modern slang, random, and tried to make it seem sophisticated by the addition of the adverb "quite"?)
What I have created is a blog about politics that isn't quite a political blog. If I were the forerunner in any of Michigan's Democratic races so far this campaign season, and this blog was my race, I'd throw in the towel right now. That seems to be the trend.
What I have created is a blog about a life that has spun out of control, although not in the dramatic way that they often do, as I have committed myself to caring for my father as his health declines. Except, things aren't AS out of control anymore, and I've learned that my mental state has more to do with my attitude about the situation than my situation ever did. I am happy to be able to say that his health seems to be a bit stronger again and I now have a few months of freedom while he is wintering in Phoenix. I miss him terribly, but this time to be me again is tremendously uplifting. And yet, I am still sad at times. Turns out, I can't blame my moods on my father.
What I have created is a blog about body image, except that I rarely touch on actual issues and instead only whine about my own body image and the image that others hold of my body.
What I have created is an utter failure of a journal because it is abandoned so often.
But I'm okay with that. One way to be more satisfied with any situation is to lower your standards, and so that's what I'm doing. When it comes to my writing, I cannot lower my standards, because I have to give that my best shot if I intend to reach out to a wider audience. When it comes to substitute teaching, I cannot lower my standards because there are other people who depend on me, and it is my professional duty to provide them with the support they need. When it comes to loving myself, I cannot lower my standards because my survival depends on it. But when it comes to things like the cleanliness of my house, date on which I pay my bills, the wordiness of my blog, I can lower my standards. If I beat myself up over everything, those bruises will never heal and I won't be able to give the best of myself to the world. So, I will let my house get cluttered sometimes and I won't hate myself for it. I will pay my bills a day or two late sometimes and not wallow in despair over the small late charges I incur. And I won't feel like a failure if I don't blog every day; I will merely write when I see fit and gain what I can from it.
Isn't that, really, what a journal is meant to be?
I started this blog just over a year ago, with a "New Year's Resolution" of sorts to write every day. It was supposed to be my means of inspiration, my method of exploring my thoughts, a way to get myself started with all my other writing, my journal. Um, nope. Didn't happen.
Instead, I created a haphazard grouping of thoughts that I added to maybe every day, maybe every week, maybe once a month. Maybe I even skipped a few months at a time. And the topics I covered are quite random. (Notice how I took a mainstay of modern slang, random, and tried to make it seem sophisticated by the addition of the adverb "quite"?)
What I have created is a blog about politics that isn't quite a political blog. If I were the forerunner in any of Michigan's Democratic races so far this campaign season, and this blog was my race, I'd throw in the towel right now. That seems to be the trend.
What I have created is a blog about a life that has spun out of control, although not in the dramatic way that they often do, as I have committed myself to caring for my father as his health declines. Except, things aren't AS out of control anymore, and I've learned that my mental state has more to do with my attitude about the situation than my situation ever did. I am happy to be able to say that his health seems to be a bit stronger again and I now have a few months of freedom while he is wintering in Phoenix. I miss him terribly, but this time to be me again is tremendously uplifting. And yet, I am still sad at times. Turns out, I can't blame my moods on my father.
What I have created is a blog about body image, except that I rarely touch on actual issues and instead only whine about my own body image and the image that others hold of my body.
What I have created is an utter failure of a journal because it is abandoned so often.
But I'm okay with that. One way to be more satisfied with any situation is to lower your standards, and so that's what I'm doing. When it comes to my writing, I cannot lower my standards, because I have to give that my best shot if I intend to reach out to a wider audience. When it comes to substitute teaching, I cannot lower my standards because there are other people who depend on me, and it is my professional duty to provide them with the support they need. When it comes to loving myself, I cannot lower my standards because my survival depends on it. But when it comes to things like the cleanliness of my house, date on which I pay my bills, the wordiness of my blog, I can lower my standards. If I beat myself up over everything, those bruises will never heal and I won't be able to give the best of myself to the world. So, I will let my house get cluttered sometimes and I won't hate myself for it. I will pay my bills a day or two late sometimes and not wallow in despair over the small late charges I incur. And I won't feel like a failure if I don't blog every day; I will merely write when I see fit and gain what I can from it.
Isn't that, really, what a journal is meant to be?
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